You’ll generally see three kinds of breakups – the ones where you decide to end things, the ones where you’ve been let go, and the ones that end mutually. Most of the time, all three of them feel pretty awful.
Breaking up isn’t just ushering in the end of a relationship – it also marks a tough period of stress, reconciliation, and perhaps even anxiety or depression about the future. According to neuroscientists, getting dumped in particular induces feelings that are comparable to drug withdrawal – heartbreak is no joke, that’s for sure.
The initial stage of dealing with a breakup is crucial to the outcome. When you’re dealing with unresolved feelings, the first few hours, days, or weeks can be incredibly overwhelming. However, that’s it for the bad news.
Even though there’s bound to be many nights full of ice cream, romcoms, and introspection, here are 4 tips on how to survive a breakup and on making it through to the other side:
Denial is a very dangerous place to be, especially when it comes to your emotions.
Understand that you’re going to feel the loss and make peace with where you stand. Cry all you want – it’s the healthiest way of processing loss and grief. If you feel like the burden is too much to carry on your own, reach out to those you trust for emotional support.
While you’re allowing yourself the time and space to come to terms with the situation, refrain from making any big decisions. Get rid of that impulse to get a tattoo or chop off your locks.
While rash decisions may leave you feeling extremely satisfied in the moment, you may not feel the same a minute or an hour down the line.
Yes, tapping into your emotional side is important. But what’s also important is knowing when to get up and dust off the ashes.
No big leaps, just small steps will do the trick. Start by getting back to your usual routine, whether it’s a workout, a dance class, or a good book and a mug of coffee – get up and get busy!
Don’t underestimate the importance of boundaries. Once you’ve made your peace with the present, don’t let anything deter you from standing your ground. If that entails blocking your ex off every social media app, then do just that!
Don’t be a doormat for others’ feelings, know your worth, and stick to your guns.
Make repairing or restoring your relationship with yourself your number one priority.
Change up your physical space, take a small trip with your closest friends and spend some quality time around those who love and support you. It’s the perfect time to take up new hobbies and learn a new skill or two.
Don’t try to mask your pain by jumping right into finding replacements. Take this time to focus on yourself and your needs so when the opportunity presents itself the next time around, you’re ready for the taking.
You’re trying to find out not just how to survive a breakup – but how to thrive in the aftermath. Eat healthy, strike a great work-life balance and let your glow up do all the talking!
Sure, it’s wise to reflect on your past relationship and recognize the warning signs to help you steer clear of them in the future. But don’t let that hold you back from moving on. Let go of the past, let go of anything that isn’t holding on to you either.
If you’re having a rough day, remember that you only have to get through today. Don’t think too far ahead. You can deal with tomorrow when it comes to your door. As for this moment, put one foot in front of the other and keep going. It always gets easier, we promise!
Progress is never linear. There are always going to be setbacks and you’re bound to rehash the past someday whether you like it or not – but don’t let that deter you from trusting the process. Learning how to survive a breakup also involves cultivating a certain level of faith in yourself and your ability to remain independent and confident.
Trust that you were removed from the situation for a reason. Once you’ve made it this far, you’ve not only learned how to survive but also to thrive!
Love will undoubtedly come again, and this time you’ll be much better prepared for it.
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When Keren is not actually tapping away at her keyboard, you’ll find her staring into space or drinking copious amounts of coffee. But make no mistake, she's hard at work even then. Come close enough and you’ll hear the whooshing noise of countless words as they go whizzing by - in her head of course.